we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
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he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
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Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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