Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
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I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
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Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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