but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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