Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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