Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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