this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
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