Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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