Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize