just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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