that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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