NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
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Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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