cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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