wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i came on her dog
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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