i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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