Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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