I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
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You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
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You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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