I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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