she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize