I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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