Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize