she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize