Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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