was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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