are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize