Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

Who goes to Church hungover

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk

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(302): Who goes to Church hungover (717): Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk http://tfl.nu/g7sy

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(512): View more from Texas

i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.

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(512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT. http://tfl.nu/zq8a

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(863): View more from Florida

I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.

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(863): I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm. http://tfl.nu/3uu7

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(858): View more from California

I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume

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(858): I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume http://tfl.nu/37b5

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(657): View more from California

You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl

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(657): You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl http://tfl.nu/8rj5

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.

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(781): PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy. http://tfl.nu/qjlc

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(410): View more from Maryland

He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

True romance of the 21st century.

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(410): He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too. (1-410): True romance of the 21st century. http://tfl.nu/laza

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(519): View more from Ontario

i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?

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(519): i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends? http://tfl.nu/08w4

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(973): View more from New Jersey

He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'

(973): View more from New Jersey

Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.

(229): View more from Georgia

Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?

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(973): He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass' (973): Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic. (229): Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom? http://tfl.nu/xp9a

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(864): View more from South Carolina

You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.

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(864): You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable. http://tfl.nu/afg8

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(302): View more from Delaware

Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now

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(302): Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now http://tfl.nu/i71d

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(614): View more from Ohio

This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?

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(614): This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off? http://tfl.nu/dr6k

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.

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(+44): I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince. http://tfl.nu/7pny

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(604): View more from British Columbia

With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant

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(604): With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant http://tfl.nu/nhig

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(720): View more from Colorado

I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.

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(720): I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer. http://tfl.nu/jm0p

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