I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you will always have a special place in my vag
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I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
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Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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