there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize