they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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