It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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