do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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