I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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