I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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