he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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