Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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