then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
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He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
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I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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