Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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