I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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