i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize