My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
There are leaves in my underwear?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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