I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
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my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
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We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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