you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize