He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize