The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
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And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
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I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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