you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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