only you would photoshop your dick
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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