I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize