talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize