Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
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In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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