the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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