Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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